We’ve all, at least once (don’t lie!), imagined how it would be to have the famous Big Fat Indian Wedding, replete with grand decorations, a lavish regional spread, and a celebration of love, family, and cultural traditions — it’s nothing short of a festival. But where do you draw the line between gorgeous ceremonies and exorbitant spectacles?

In episode 10 of #BrutallyHonest with VRA – Exposing Wedding Industry & Its Exploitative Capitalism, Vivek Ranjan Agnihotri pulls no punches in his dissection of the wedding industry, calling out the extravagance, commercialisation, and financial pressure that surrounds what once used to be a deeply personal and traditional event. Sure, Indian weddings are a large affair but they’re also meant to be an opportunity for families and friends to come together to celebrate love. But today, they’re more of a way to one-up the neighbours.

VRA challenges us to rethink the way we approach weddings in India today and in this article, we dive into the key lessons to take away from his insightful podcast.

1. The Rise of Extravagant Weddings

Gone are the days of small gatherings and simple rituals. Today, the Indian wedding industry has ballooned into a billion-dollar market, with families pumping money to outdo one another, it’s nothing short of a competitive sport. As Agnihotri points out, what used to be a personal celebration has turned into a gross display of status, wealth, and ego. Weddings are no longer about celebrating the love between two people, but rather a competition to outshine others, complete with over-the-top décor, crores worth of outfits, and week-long destination events that cost an arm and a leg.

2. Cultural Exploitation for Profit

Weddings are rooted in rich cultural traditions, each ritual immersed in symbolism and ancient wisdom. Yet, as Agnihotri explains, these cultural rituals are often exploited staggeringly for profit, with vendors charging sky-high rates for everything from floral jaimalas and the wedding venue to mehendi ceremonies and reception parties. The wedding industry capitalises on these traditions, turning them into opportunities for filling their pockets rather than preserving their original essence.

3. The Pressure of Keeping Up Appearances

One of the most prominent issues Agnihotri shares is the immense societal pressure families face to “keep up with the Sharmas.” If your neighbour’s daughter had a destination wedding in Jaipur, of course, you must have one in a better locale, Mauritius perhaps? Despite not having the budget, families cave under the pressure and end up spending far beyond their means. Some even take out loans and sink into debt — all to just throw it away on a grand party that meets societal expectations. At least you outdid the neighbours, right?

4. Impact on Middle-Class Families

While affluent families might bounce back from this massive cash burn faster, middle-class families bear the brunt of this social and financial pressure. As Agnihotri discusses, weddings often leave middle-class families buried in debts that can take years to lift. What was once a celebration of love and union is now a source of financial strain. This critical issue, Agnihotri points out, needs more attention in conversations about the wedding industry.

5. The Role of Media in Promoting Extravagance

We all avidly followed the big fat Ambani wedding for the past few months, splashed across our social media feeds. From celebrity appearances to influencer events, media gave us minute-by-minute updates, playing a huge role in glamorising the wedding industry’s extravagance. This perpetuates a loop where larger-than-life weddings are not only the new norm but an obvious occurrence, pressuring others to cave in. Agnihotri mentions the media’s influence as a key driver in the industry’s growth and unrealistically rising expectations around weddings.

6. Questioning the Meaning of Tradition

One of the most eye-opening points Agnihotri makes is that we need to start questioning the meaning of tradition in today’s world. What do these rituals really signify? And are they being honoured in the way they were intended? By blindly following trends, we jeopardise turning sacred practices into shallow performances. Agnihotri encourages listeners to reconnect with the true essence and roots of these traditions, rather than succumbing to the modern vanity that surrounds them.

7. The Rise of Sustainable and Minimalist Weddings

While the wedding industry continues to push for over-the-top luxury, there’s a slowly growing movement towards sustainable and minimalist weddings. These weddings celebrate environmental consciousness, meaningful connections, and authenticity over put-up appearances. Agnihotri applauds this change, noting that couples are beginning to highlight what truly matters — their union and shared values — rather than putting on a show just to silence the taboo of “log kya kahenge?”

8. Capitalism’s Influence on Personal Milestones

Agnihotri doesn’t hold back from criticising capitalism’s chokehold over personal milestones like weddings. Capitalist motives have bled into what should be intimate, personal events, with the industry treating weddings as opportunities for making money rather than creating special moments. This raises a significant question: Have weddings become more about the spectacle and less about the substance?

9. The Importance of Authenticity

The most powerful takeaway from the podcast episode is Agnihotri’s call to return to authenticity, it’s the need of the hour. He urges couples to think about what they truly want their wedding to represent and to plan a celebration that reflects their shared values and beautiful love story. Let’s step away from wanting the ultimate Instagram-worthy wedding for a second and focus on what feels right for both of you — whether that’s a simple court ceremony or an intimate gathering with close family and friends.

10. Call to Action: Reflect on Personal Choices

Finally, Agnihotri encourages listeners to reflect on their personal choices when it comes to wedding planning. Are you getting caught up in societal expectations, or are you making decisions based on what holds meaning for you? He reminds us that weddings don’t need to be lavish affairs to truly matter. In fact, the most important part of the day is the commitment you’re making to share your life with your partner — not the garlands, the 12-course meal, or the who’s who on the guest list.

Time to Question the Status Quo

In an era where weddings have become a staggeringly expensive business, it’s time we start questioning the status quo. Are we really defined by how lavish our weddings are? Vivek Ranjan Agnihotri’s podcast episode offers a refreshing critique of the wedding industry and its exploitative capitalist tendencies. And there’s still hope in the form of growing trends towards more sustainable, minimalist weddings, and celebrations that focus on love and authenticity over pomp and show.

So, the next time you’re planning or attending a wedding, take a moment to think about what truly matters. Are you doing it to celebrate union, or to break the record on likes? Let’s spark a conversation about how we can take back the reins of these personal milestones and make weddings more meaningful rather than materialistic. Dive deeper into Agnihotri’s podcast here and join in on the discussion on how we can rethink the Indian wedding industry.